1. I had a negative reaction when I would see another youth pastor post about their successes
“They only care about numbers”
“If I had the resources that they have…”
“They are always just trying to make themselves look good”
When you are healthy, you will celebrate the successes of others because you quickly realize why we are doing this and that we are all on the same team, reaching this next generation with the message of the Gospel.
What I did to get better: I actively celebrated and encouraged someone else. I reached out to someone I was envious of and asked how I could pray for them. If you pray for someone every day it’s hard to not want them to succeed. And it’s amazing what that does in your own heart.
2. I resented having to help out other ministries within my church
“I’m so busy with my own stuff”
“Why can’t they find their own volunteers”
“It’s not even what I was hired to do”
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that your area of ministry is the most important area of ministry in the church.
When you are healthy you will realize that Wednesdays don’t happen without Sundays. In order for a youth service or event to be possible, the church as a whole has to function properly. Yes, youth ministry might be the strong right arm of your church, but the arm won’t be strong if the rest of the body is weak.
What I did to get better: I became the first one to volunteer when someone else said they needed extra people. Sometimes that means an extra meeting, sometimes it means stopping what I’m doing to help carry something heavy, sometimes it’s being involved in something outside my comfort zone. (like kid’s ministry, yikes!) The morning of our women's ministry’s big conference I went and picked up Starbucks for their whole team and paid for it with the youth ministry’s budget. The first day of VBS I bought Chick-Fil-A for the kid’s team.
Do whatever is asked of you with eagerness and with joy, but take it a step further. Actively seek out opportunities to pitch in and help beyond what is asked or required. If you see a need, take care of it. If there is an event in another area of ministry at a time when you don’t have something happening, go to that ministry leader and ask how you can help.
3. I realized that I didn’t have a life outside of ministry
“I’m too busy for hobbies”
“I don’t have any real friends”
“It’s just a busy season”
Those are dangerous words. If you find yourself “too busy” for friends, hobbies, or family, take a pause. Take a step back.
Church leaders ignore the Sabbath more than any other principle or commandment in the bible. Ask yourself if you take a true Sabbath day every week. A day where you are not “productive” but also not a day that you just binge Netflix. A day that you give to the Lord, to spend time with friends or family, and do something that you find restful. If you don’t, let’s be brutally honest: you are choosing to ignore God’s commands in that area of your life.
What I did to get better: I took up some hobbies. I like to exercise because when I come back from the gym I feel like a better version of myself. I listen to sermons during my workout. (not sermons that I’m “getting ideas” from, but sermons that feed my spirit) And at the risk of sounding old, I like to play golf. It gets me outside in God’s creation and I can clear my head.
4. My personal spiritual life was not growing
“I don’t have opportunities to just be in church and receive.”
“I’m just going through a dry season”
“It feels like something is missing”
You can’t feed others if you don’t feed yourself. We’ve all heard the instructions on an airplane: put your mask on before helping others. I can say it so many different ways but let’s just be real, there’s no excuse for you to not grow closer to Jesus every day. Remember, if you’re not growing daily, you’re dying gradually.
What I did to get better: I had to learn to contend for the presence of God in my own life. I realized that I won’t always have someone providing those opportunities for me so I have to create moments with God every day. I listen to sermons to feed my spirit because on Sundays and Wednesdays I have youth services. I’m not receiving during those times. I also read the bible and something else (chapter of a book or a blog or article) every single day.
5. Thursday was the best day of my week
“Wednesdays are so exhausting”
“Thank God that’s over with”
“I’m just looking forward to the weekend”
If I think back to when I first felt called to youth ministry, Wednesday night youth services were what I looked forward to more than anything. I loved every part of it from beginning to end. Sometimes, somewhere along the way, we start to lose our passion and we start to view it as another task to get done, another box to check off the to-do list.
What I did to get better: It’s going to sound cheesy, but I prayed. A lot. I asked God to help me get that passion and excitement back that I once had. And I found the aspects of ministry that energized me, and I dove into them full force. I poured into leaders and students that were hungry as much as I could. Focusing on people instead of tasks will bring life back into your ministry and will remind you of why you started doing it in the first place.
All in all, do what it takes to be a healthy leader. Everyone wins when the leader gets better.
-Kendall Trewern
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